I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
