Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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