Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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