how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
