Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
