Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize