yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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