u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
