I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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