dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize