I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
