just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...