how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
