it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
