this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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