I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
