so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i came on her dog
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
