Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So squirting runs in the family.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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