It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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