yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
