Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
