youre lurking in front of me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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