come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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