when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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