Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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