Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
