forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
