he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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