after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
