i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
