I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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