i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
