my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
