Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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