I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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