Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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