Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you never un-have a 4some
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
