I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
