Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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