I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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