So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
