She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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