My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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