One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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