I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
