I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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