i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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