At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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