how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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