Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
