we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
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Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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