I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
