The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
