it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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