We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
