Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
