He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
