Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
