Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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