plz talk dirty to me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
