I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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