Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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